Happy new year people. Hope you all had a good one.
As for me, it was an easy and relaxed night, out with some good people here in Utila, just the way i like it.
I’ve been thinking about this year, what i have achiveed, what i’ve done, what i’ve not done, if i would have wanted to do something different and so on. So i’ve come to few eclutions.
A whole year in my life…
Now, im the type of girl that always, and i mean ALWAYS, have to have something to do, otherwise i get bored easily. Not that i cant relax, no .Im the type that has problem with finding the golden “in between” kind a way of living. I go all the way, with whatever i decide to do, or i just dont do it at all. But with time, and age, i’ve become better at allowing myself to “change my mind”, which is ok to do today, but it used to be in my dictionary ” not acceptable”.
So i have 10 points of, what have i achieved this year!.
1. Two years ago, i had an car accident that left me with serious back injury. The outcome from that is that i have real difficulties doing some things i used to take for granted, but this year i got some money from my insurence for my injuries. Not an extreme amount, at all, but some money, so i had the ability to make this decission. To make a life long dream come true, and go on my very own worldtrip. this money in my eyes, was marked from day one to make a dream come true, and so i did.
2. I stepped out of my Comfort zone, left the safe little perfect bubble i was living in, with my good job, my independent business, packed my life into boxes, spread them around Danmark, Sweden and Iceland, left the perfect appartment i had for rent, bought a backpack and headed out to see the world for a whole year.. not knowing at all, what would or will happen while im away.
3.i went out, with an open mind and an open heart, welcoming new people, new influences, cultures, places and countries. And from that i have gained so many new friends and acquaintances, seen so many new things. Been influenced by the smallest things around me, and enjoyed almost every minute of it.
4. Faced my fears. from the start of my journey i had decided that i would face my fears, no matter what, and so i’ve done. jumping from cliffs, walking into caves, swimming in dark caves, climbing, jumping from bridges, heights, into waterfalls, or ocean. Swam in the open ocean, faught with some waves, paragliding, sharkdiving, cavediving. Put myself in situations i never thought i would ever put myself into or through, just to see how i would come out of it. And the result, happier more confident, stronger me. So reday for the next challenges 😉
4. Fall in love with diving and am now living and breathing for that obsession.. 😉 Dont think i will ever stop doing that, that was like finally finding something that had been missing, for a very long time.
5. Actually found out, how good and beautiful my life really is, and all the good people that are there, that i have selected to be apart of it. I dont let people pick me anymore, I choose who i want and do not want to have in my life. And thats the beauty about choosing.
6. Opened up my heart, got burnt but am still standing, and believe that things will go and be, exactly like they are suppose to be. And the lesson here is not to get bitter and sarcastic ( which i attend to be, when it comes to the matters of the heart) but to have some kind of hope!. I now know at least, what i do want, and what i dont want. And that is an important lesson to learn.
7. Let go of the past.. Now, i know it would be totally hippocrate of me saying, I never dwell on the past, because frankly, i dont think i would be human if that NEVER happened!. But, one of the biggest changes in me this year has been so, i have actually been really good at just letting go, and not dwell on,should have, could have, would have.. No, im looking at things now, and concetrating on not being in the past or somewhere next year.. 😉 just right here right now in this moment.
8. This year i have been to these countries :
Norway, Iceland ( 2 ), Sweden, Thailand, Italy, USA, Mexico,Cuba, Guatemala and now Honduras. Now, thats alot in one year 😉 And im looking forward to seeing more of the world in 2012.
9. Been priviliged and blessed to be one day at a time, clean and sober for multiple years now, not hurting people around me with my selfish way of beeing and taken them for granted.Been open enough to go back when i make mistakes and tell people that im sorry and make up for it, wherever that has been possible. Been able to see that this is truly a miracle for someone like me. And could’nt do it without the help i get from good people in my life.
10, And finally, opened up my eyes for so many things that i will never, ever take for granted or given ever again. I never want to be stuck in that luxurious way of living, thinking, ever again. I never liked it there anyways, but culturally , i was used to that way of beeing and thinking. Where it did not matter what i bought, i always feltl like i needed more, or i was thinking about the next thing i wanted to buy or own. Did’nt matter how much i worked i never thought it was enough, always wanted to do more and be better at what i do, like it was never good enough, all along that pressure was only coming from myself, nobody else.
And buying all that stuff, It’s empty and pointless, we dont take all that crap with us in our graves, and it leaves nothing inside, no kind of fulfilling, so i’ll rather use more time on the people that are around me now, family, friends, then working too much. Give people that are in need of help, the help i can give and try to enjoy being in the now, while im here.
Thats it for me, i guess. i dont feel like i have any regrets. Life has it’s up’s and down’s. Mine has been rather good this year, i dont feel like i have anything to be unhappy about. My life is rich and full of good people. And all i can do is, do my best today to enjoy it,embrace it, and rock on.. 😉